Outside the Law

March 8, 2011

Luck Be A Lady

Lucky at cardsunlucky in love” ~ Unknown

This was something my mom used to say.  She always said she was the “Lucky at Cards” sort and I was decidedly, “Lucky in Love.”  That has truly played itself out throughout my life.  Probably self-fulfilled.  I used to call myself the “unluckiest person alive.”  I meant it always in the sense that I never, I mean NEVER, won anything.  I have entered countless raffles, contests, etc. always with a sense that I was donating my dollar or two to whatever cause was involved, because there was just no chance I would ever win.

For instance (there’s always a “for instance”), I entered into a raffle for a car.  Not just any car.  But MY car.  THE car.  The car I’ve loved since childhood.  The car I lovingly worked on from the chassi up when I was a teen.  The car that truly define(d)(s) me.  The 1961 Type E, V-12, cabriolet Jaguar.

Now, the reason this raffle seemed different from the hundreds of others I’d entered in the past was because the ticket that I was purchasing had a number of 08080909.  And, the actual day of the drawing was to be on 08/09.  My birthday is 08/09.  See where I’m going with this?  The ticket was my double birthday and the drawing was actually ON my birthday.  If this car wasn’t meant to be mine, well then clearly things were not … aligned.  So, true to form, I bought one ticket and kept it in a safe place for months, waiting with bated breath to be called to pick up my car.

I presently drive a 2005 Chrysler Pacifica.

One day not long ago, I bought over $50 worth of raffle tickets at my office.  It was for a good cause, new books for several city schools, so you can’t go wrong there.  But I was also really interested in the prizes.  An X-Box 3 or 4 something, a netbook (when they were new and cool) and something else that seemed equally shiny and fun.  So I thought, why not.  I’m bound to win one of them.  Nope.  Not a thing.  They did give me two free tickets to the Franklin Zoo, but I later learned that everyone who spent over $20 in the raffle got that as a consolation prize so as not to go away angry.

So, all that to say, I still walk around with this feeling that I’ll never ever win anything, but not that I’m “unlucky.”  Not anymore.  With this latest health issue, you would think I’d be waving that banner pretty high, but I’m not.  Because it’s got nothing to do with luck.  It’s just how things are.

If I recall correctly, the birthday of that Jaguar raffle (my 21st), was a seminal day when I realized that my fiance wasn’t someone I should marry after all.  So, I made some changes to the schools to which I was looking to transfer and got into Mills College (at that time, not a school on my list).  I then learned of Northeastern Law School from a Mills Alumnae who couldn’t say enough wonderful things about it.  At NUSL, I met (my Life Compass), Gregory, and have the most lovely life with him.  And, we have this amazing little boy who makes our life brighter just by thinking of him.  Not to mention this amazing crew of friends and family who are in it for the ride and are making our lives so much better.

I realize that you’re luckiest when you have the most to lose.  You’re also at your most vulnerable.  Well, I’ve got everything to lose.  Greg. Logan.  ComcastiCat.  My FB Mosh Pit.  Everything.  So, whether that old adage is true and I’m “Unlucky at cards” but “Lucky in Love,” it doesn’t matter.  I think I’ve gotten pretty lucky at life.  And in the end, that’s the only score that matters, right?

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